Style Academy #5

Imitated Sentence:

There is nothing better that students can take home over summer vacation than a sense that what they have learned the previous year has meant they were able, with the help of lots of other people, including that alienated girl with the green hair and that kid who counts on his fingers, and lots and lots of people beyond the walls of the school, to make something important happen, to meet a challenge.

My Sentence:

I am so grateful for the Christmas season, which brings so much joy into people’s lives, along with extended family and friends, and lots of presents and Christmas decorations, which helps us remember the importance of a Savior in our lives. 

Style Academy #4

Rewritten Lyrics to Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You”

This Christmas season, I am not asking for a lot from Santa. I can only think of one thing that I would need for Christmas. It doesn’t bother me if I do not get very many Christmas presents under the tree because the only thing that I truly want is you. I cannot tell you how much I want you, and only you, for Christmas, and I hope that Santa brings you to me this year. Truly, all I need, desire, and want for Christmas is to have you in my presence.
Again, this Christmas season I am not asking for a lot from Santa. I still can only think of one thing that I would need for Christmas, so the quantity and quality of presents under the Christmas tree does not matter to me. I do not even care if I get presents in my stocking; I probably won’t even hang one by the fireplace this year. I hope that Santa doesn’t bring me a toy for Christmas, because that is not what I want.

The only thing that I really, really, really want for Christmas is your presence. I don’t know how many times I need to ask, but I can’t tell you how much I want to be able to see you this Christmas season. If I could wish upon a star, I would wish that I could have you for Christmas because you are exactly what I want. For this reason alone, Santa needs to bring me you for Christmas.

I am not even going to write Santa a letter this year because I don’t even want anything, not even a white Christmas like so many others want. I will sit here, waiting, very patiently, under the mistletoe for you, so hurry up

No paper and pen to write a letter to Santa about what I want for Christmas is necessary this year. I am going to bed early this year and ignoring the sounds of the reindeer on my roof because all I want is for you to be here with me while we hold hands and take a walk in the freshly fallen snow. There is nothing more than I can think of that I can do to persuade you. The only thing that I am asking for this year, not even that, the only thing that will make me happy this Christmas season, is you.

All I can see this Christmas season is a bunch of cute Christmas lights on people’s houses with little smiling and laughing kids decorating gingerbread houses on the inside. There are also a bunch of people coming to my house singing Christmas carols and even more people driving down my street in carriages with sleigh bells, and I am stuck here at home without you. Dearest Santa Claus, all I want you to bring in your big red bag is my special man, who is the only one I need. Hurry Santa, I’m getting impatient here, you know that my list of things that I want for Christmas is not very big, and that I am only asking for one thing, so please send my significant other to my front door as a surprise.

All I want is this person, and no one else. I cannot tell you how much I want this person, so please, Santa, grant me my one and only wish, because all I want for Christmas is my loved one. Seriously, all I want this year is that person, nothing else.

Style Academy- Issues Paper

For my style academy assignment for the Issues Paper, I took my first body paragraph and practiced sentence combining. There were two sentences that I found in my paragraph that I realized I was able to combine. This exercise helped my paragraph to not be as repetitive. It was very beneficial for me to be able to read through this paragraph and see areas where I can improve. I not only made corrections in sentence combining, but also added more information and used a semi-colon and dash within my work. I believe that doing this exercise helped my paragraph flow nicely. Doing this exercise also helped my paper sound more professional, gave me good practice in using punctuation marks that I normally would not have used, and gave me good practice in removing repetition.

Style Academy

I used the sentence unscramblers exercise as my inspiration for this style academy assignment. Using my last two body paragraphs, I moved a sentence per paragraph that I thought would make more sense in a different spot. In the end, I believe this helped the analysis of my essay be more effective. Writing this essay was good practice for me in learning how to be an unbiased reader. It helped me learn how to pick a part certain aspects of the speeches that I thought were or were not successful, despite my personal opinions about the two speakers.

Rhetorical Analysis Topic

 I will be focusing on the arguments made by President Reagan and Mitt Romney because they were successful in getting me, as the reader, to agree with the points they were arguing. For my rhetorical analysis paper, I plan to analyze their speeches on the topic of separation of church and state in the government of the United States. In order to do this, I plan to compare the two speeches and the different rhetorical devices they use to determine how effective they are. While reading these speeches, I noticed that both had some similarities, such as the personal feel they established with their audience by directly addressing those they were speaking to along with complimenting their audience. This helps the speakers feel more personable to the audience that they are addressing. Also, both of the speakers called for religious freedom, which inspired their audience to stand up for their beliefs and their country as well. Both speakers also made mention of the founding fathers, which helped them establish credibility because they know the history of their country, and therefore know what they are talking about. They also established credibility by stating their former leadership roles in this country and by also stating their desire to run for and win the presidential election. I also noticed that both President Reagan and Mitt Romney talked about emotional subjects that made their audiences want to help others, through the claims that families are falling apart and our country is falling apart because of problems with drugs and crime. These two articles engaged and swayed me most as a reader, and through these points they made I plan to show that their arguments were effective.

Style Academy/GASCAP Assignment

For the style academy assignment for my opinion editorial, I combined some of my sentences in the second and third paragraph of my essay. I incorporated a semi-colon in a sentence where I was talking about my brother, which I believe added a level of intelligence to my essay. I also combined two sentences that were talking about similar things and reworded them so that it would flow easier. I have noticed that combining these sentences has made my paper more succinct and makes it have a better flow to it. I also tried placing a dash into one of my sentences in the second paragraph-a punctuation mark that I feel adds sophistication to my writing. Using punctuation marks such as the semi-colon and the dash make me feel as if I have further developed as a writer, and it also helps me combine my sentences.

 In my essay I also employed a lot of analogy while giving examples of my brother’s experiences in his school, and in the community and showed that even though BYU does not have a special education program, we can still help out those with special needs through community based services and activities. I feel that stories are a good way to appeal to the reader’s emotions, and by telling real-life stories and connecting them to BYU are a good way to incorporate analogy into my paper. One of the GASCAP elements that I should strive to put into my essays more is the concept of principle, which I feel would give my audience a sense of needing to fix the problem.

My Favorite Introduction and Conclusion

 

My favorite introduction would have to be the beginning to one of my favorite songs, which is “Classic” by MKTO.  The starting beat to this song always gets me excited and pumped to sing or dance along, and the lyrics would make any girl feel special.

Hey! Where's the drum?

Ooh girl you're shining
Like a 5th avenue diamond
And they don't make you like they used to
You're never going out of style

Ooh pretty baby
This world might have gone crazy
The way you saved me,
Who could blame me
When I just wanna make you smile

Read more: MKTO - Classic Lyrics | MetroLyrics

My favorite conclusion would be a talk given by Jeffrey R. Holland in the October 2014 General Conference titled, “Are We Not All Beggars?” My favorite part is when he says, “I may not be my brother’s keeper, I am my brother’s brother, and ‘because I have been given much, I too must give.’” This ending is so powerful and inspires his listeners to be on the lookout for those in need.

“Brothers and sisters, such a sermon demands that I openly acknowledge the unearned, undeserved, unending blessings in my life, both temporal and spiritual. Like you, I have had to worry about finances on occasion, but I have never been poor, nor do I even know how the poor feel. Furthermore, I do not know all the reasons why the circumstances of birth, health, education, and economic opportunities vary so widely here in mortality, but when I see the want among so many, I do know that “there but for the grace of God go I.”¹⁸ I also know that although I may not be my brother’s keeper, I am my brother’s brother, and “because I have been given much, I too must give.”¹⁹

In that regard, I pay a personal tribute to President Thomas Spencer Monson. I have been blessed by an association with this man for 47 years now, and the image of him I will cherish until I die is of him flying home from then–economically devastated East Germany in his house slippers because he had given away not only his second suit and his extra shirts but the very shoes from off his feet. “How beautiful upon the mountains [and shuffling through an airline terminal] are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace.”²⁰ More than any man I know, President Monson has “done all he could” for the widow and the fatherless, the poor and the oppressed.

In an 1831 revelation to the Prophet Joseph Smith, the Lord said the poor would one day see the kingdom of God coming to deliver them “in power and great glory.”²¹ May we help fulfill that prophecy by coming in the power and glory of our membership in the true Church of Jesus Christ to do what we can to deliver any we can from the poverty that holds them captive and destroys so many of their dreams, I pray in the merciful name of Jesus Christ, amen.”